10:42 PM - Thursday, January 14, 2010
sitting in front of the lappy with nothing in my head. everything is just blank. applied for school again and now waiting for the results.
im not gonna do anything for four mnths, believe it or not.
one word. BOREDOM.

didn't do much today. nothing happened, just slacked and watched soccer.
well, i didnt really watch uh. i played so called netball/basketball on the grass with ajeerah, said and kiehl.
it was tiring though we had a good laugh.
the boys won, of course -.-"
boys are always better than girls in whatever. i cant deny in that.
but not exactly all ah, we girls just have to work harder, i guess?.
got to see kiehl today but didnt get to talk much, i dont think we talked at all, lol! disruption ah.
gosh i missed him so much, but as long as i got to see him, im fine.
went home around 9, sorry i didnt say bye to you, you were busy playing.
so bussed home and now sitting in front of the lappy typing craps.
dil, i should've known that you've not change.
you're still lying to me.
im shocked to hear that from other people's mouth.
when i asked you, you said that you were slacking at your cousin's place.
i remembered clearly on the day, you told me you were slacking at acit's place.
i said that sekali you over there with another girl. and you said no.
c'mon lah, how long more are you gonna do this.
it's not working okay. some day im still gonna find out the truth from
somebody else if not from you. why wouldn't you wanna let me go right?
stop this bullshit ah. please. you're not going anywhere if you keep doing this.
what are you going to achieve from that right? tsk tsk tsk.
i don't understand what's his motive of not wanting to let me go
though i told him im not ready and was hoping he would let me go. well, just stay as friends?
you can do whatever you want then. i mean not that we're attached. but those feelings
i used to have for you has faded due to your behaviour. what if we're attached? is it still gonna be the same? i assume it's a yes.
p/s: see kiehl, this is why i don't want to go to him. he cheats. :/
i feel like breaking down. why am i so weak? can somebody just cheer me up?
do anything. please. im begging. i hate this feeling. my heart hurts alot. i feel cheated.
veryvery cheated. i always tell you the truth eventhough it hurts. you wanted that right? but,
what happened to your promise? is it always going to be my fault? i told you everything ok.
please. stop this nonsense. we're going nowhere ok.
Labels: giving up in life. **** *** ; heart TORN