baby, you the best ♥

THE GIRL NEXT DOOR

Me, Myself & I

Hello Sheril Leana here (: i am 18 this year and growing older every 14/03. .♥ i have a huge sense of humour so if you are bored look for me.i am not afraid to say out my thoughts or feeling. i may be the girl you would want to talk to if you're not in the mood. or feeling down. i can help.:) i have a great life and i hate to follow instructions. i set my own rules and live by them. oh dont bother care about what i say here. this is my blog and i can say whatever i want. like i said im not afraid to say out my thoughts. i have loved cats since i was young so throw me as many cats as u want. im sure to be there to catch it. im a very friendly and loves guys that are athletes. ahhhh. when they take their shirt off it makes me melt like cold butter sliding down warm toast. makes me go mmmmm. i love to make jokes and make people laugh though i know laughing creates wrinkles. so what? laughing is the best medicine. above all that. i can be mean at times. very very mean. if you are mean too. so yeah. i admit i am not a good girl, imma bitch so get use to it yeah. I love all my besties dearly, don't you?
KINDER BUENO is my best friend, and MICKEY MOUSE is my husband! :D I AM NOT A SAINT. THIS IS ME. :D.

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xoxo xo xo

10:59 PM - Tuesday, February 9, 2010

as per normal. i went out to slack.

it started out ok cos i went to meet syahir

under his block.

and he is my laughing medicine. i didnt actually laugh just smiled a little.

and sorry syahir i didnt pay attention to your story.

i wasn't myself.

so we went to sit and "watch" watchmen.

then came murni slacked awhile then meet ana sayang at rc.

then the rest came.

i was listening to ana's mp3 when the pain started attacking me again.

i held back my tears and while hearing the song that reminds me of him,

the song of my message tone when he texts me.

and i couldn't control it anymore. i just let it out.

slowly my tears were dripping.

i stared blankly while blur visions of my friends laughing out loudly

are fading away.

staring at this place where he usually comes from when

he comes down to play soccer.

the pain is unbearable now. so i just kept on crying cps that's all

i can do.

i was so weak. idk why.

so weak that i didnt realise how hungry i was.

i decided to follow ana, botak and wanporn to buy food. i tried to laugh

but it was harder than i thought. very hard indeed.

i just put on a fake smile all the way.

went to eat then i went to street soccer court all by myself.

i forgot about the pain i was having on the afternoon.

but as soon as i reached the court, the pain strucked me again.

HE was there.

i turned before he saw me and walked to the other side of the court where my friend was playing soccer.

he knew the story but not fully.

i walked to him angry, frustrated almost crying.

and he gave me a very hateful remark. as if he didnt care.

wtf?

so i sat where no one sat. alone.

listening to songs again.

thinking of the times that we used to have.

the love that was almost there.

tears rolled down my eyes and they're not stopping,

they can't stop. i cant control the painfulness inside anymore.

it hurt so badly.

i dont know who to talk to. nobody there would even want to listen to me.

no one i can turn to and have a shoulder to cry on.

so i just cried alone.

solo meo.

the lights went off as the clock strikes 10

i walked off and sat at gateball with bestf and friends.

i was waiting to get a chance to see him for one last time before i go home.

at least smile and make my day.

waited, waited and waited.

then i realised he's not gonna come.

kiehl's gone.

p/s: just a week ago you were my baby, now i dont even know you at all.

Labels: as if i never existed